WALT: describe the setting of a story using ‘show’ not ‘tell’SC: - to use descriptive language to help the reader visualise the setting- to use language that activates the readers’ senses e.g smell and sound- to use similes and metaphors to describe the setting- to use interesting vocab to describe the setting
I want you to practise describing the setting of your stories, hinting rather than being direct so as to keep your reader interested.Look at these story openings. I haven’t told you where the story is set, but I have described it through the things you might see and hear if you were there. Can you guess where my stories are set?
Story 1The automatic doors opened swiftly as Jade strode in. She glanced quickly at the cluster of signs and pressed on down the wide polished corridor. Ahead of her a set of double doors flew open and a trolley, pushed by five concerned faces, passed rapidly by. The smell of antiseptic caught at the back of her throat. Pushing through the doors at the end of the corridor, she emerged into a brightly lit room. Rows of plastic seats groaned with injured people. Where was Manny? The call had been brief. All she knew was that Manny was here somewhere… . The Hospital
Story 2Sadie thrust the ticket into the man’s hand. Half-torn he returned it and pulled open the door. Her eyes narrowed as she stepped forward urgently into the dimly-lit room. Stale popcorn collapsed under her feet. She felt her way down the narrow aisle. She had agreed to meet Gerry somewhere in the middle. The front was too close, whilst the back meant you spent most of your time staring at the hairstyle in front. A young couple stood up to let her pass, their coats fell from their laps and were lost in the dark alley beneath their folding seats. The Movies
Story 3The vegetables gleamed under the lighting as special offers swung giddily on their strings from the ceiling. He inched forward, keeping himself well hidden behind the woman whose child rocked in the metal cage provided at the back of the trolley. As they passed the cheese and milk a cool draught caught the back of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine… The Supermarket
Story 4The warm dusty draught flapped at her coat, revealing the lining and causing her to pull it tight around her. She thrust her ticket into the metal slit and strode forward confidently. The dull whirring of the escalators carried her down, lost in the confusion of posters advertising West end shows and cheap phone calls. She thought she saw a familiar face passing upwards to her right and stared back to see if she were right… . Train Station
I think the setting for story one is: At the Hospital The words and expressions that helped me guess were:She said she saw rows of plastic seats groaned with injured people, that there were double doors and that she saw a trolley, pushed by five concerned faces.
I think the setting for story two is: The Movies The words and expressions that helped me guess were: she had stale popcorn collapsed under her feet and she made her way down the narrow aisle. that there were lots of rows of people.
The words and expressions that helped me guess were: I think the setting for story three is: The Supermarket
I think the setting for story four is: Train Station The words and expressions that helped me guess were: That she thrust her ticket into the metal slit and saw all the advertisements.
· Now try to write a story opening in which your character passesthrough these places:a schoola video shopa park
Before you start, think about the things you might see or hear in these places. Collect some interesting vocabulary to help you write.
People screaming, Skyscrapers, Tons of people, Pay Stations, Food places, Cotton candy.My Story:
People stand in a long queue waiting to get an experience of a lifetime and face their fears, I run into the biggest space I had ever seen and after a couple of minutes to take it all in, I sprint to the biggest and fastest ride, I sit down and then without warning………...Woooooshhhh I screamed my head of for the first seconds and I could see the person next to me looking quite sick, but luckily she did not vomit, after the ride I felt soooo tired that I just decided to go home!
Remember, describe the things you might see and hear if you were there. Don’t tell your reader directly.Share your work with a buddy and get them to assess whether you have achieved the SC.
Use the link here to generate a random scenario and write an opening for your story.
Did you achieve the SC?
You are on a roller coasterI think it was a very good story well done
- to use descriptive language to help the reader visualise the setting- to use language that activates the readers’ senses e.g smell and sound- to use similes and metaphors to describe the setting- to use interesting vocab to describe the setting